the no-minute noodler, by Richard Glover

To confuse the issue of who it was that farted by blaming it all on the dog.
(nay sayuh)noun
Any parent who refuses to buy you a horse for your birthday

The real dictionary is full of words, but, Richard Glover claims, it is heavily biased towards adults. Where, he asks, are the words for the situations kids find themselves in. What do you call the kid who farts and then blames the dog? Or the parents who refuse to buy a horse for their child?

the no-minute noodler, subtitled the dags dictionary for kids provides words (and their meanings) for those situations – and along the way gives plenty of laughs. Some of the words are clever, others are just plain funny, but there’s plenty there for kids to enjoy. This is the sort of book that will be read out bit-by-bit, or passed around by a group of boys in the school library. There is also a section at the back for kids to make up their own words (definitions provided) and their own definitions (words provided), which could be a fun classroom activity.

No-minute Noodler: Dag's Dictionary for Kids

the no-minute noodler: the dag’s dictionary for kids, by Richard Glover
ABC Books, 2007

This book can be purchased online from Fishpond. Buying through this link supports Aussiereviews.

The Joke Trap, by Richard Glover

Ben didn’t really get it, so I told him about the church, not far from my house, that has an old cemetery next to it. ‘Every time we drive past, Dad says to me, “Look, Jesse, there’s the dead centre of town”. Or, “Look at that place, Jesse, people are just dying to get in there”.’
Ben shot me an amazed look. ‘My uncle does exactly the same joke. Exactly the same words…’

Jesse has a problem. His dad is just so embarrassing. His constant stream of bad jokes are so silly that Jesse is too scared to invite his new friends home. His mate Ben has a similar problem. He is into music and wants to start a band – but his dad is always singing – badly.

When Jesse and Ben compare notes they decide it is time to do something about their dads. With help from their little sisters and Jesse’s Granddad, they give the dads a taste of their medicine.

The Joke Trap is the second title in the new ABC Kids Fiction series, aimed at beginning and reluctant readers aged 7 to 10. With 72 pages, plenty of support from the illustrations of Gus Gordon, and a humorous plot, it is sure to be enjoyed by young readers.

Good stuff.

The Joke Trap, by Richard Glover, illustrated by Gus Gordon
ABC Books, 2007

Desperate Husbands, by Richard Glover

She looks worried but I’m not too concerned. The children are alive. The house has not burnt down. There have been no major outbreaks of disease. Frankly, I think I deserve a bloody medal.

Richard Glover is, on the surface, a pretty normal guy. He has a wife and two kids, and all the normal struggles of running a house, paying a mortgage, going to work and raising his children. In reality, though, his life is different – because it is downright hilarious. Okay, so perhaps it is not his life that is hilarious, but his ability to make the commonplace hilarious in his clever retelling, but that’s splitting hairs.

The end result is the same – a funny book about the everyday life of a pretty normal Aussie bloke. Glover shares stories of buying fridges, cleaning house, going shopping and much much more with a wittiness that has the reader trying to maintain a frantic head nod of agreement with much chortling and shaking. There is a temptation to read odd bits out to spouses, friends – even complete strangers – as you see yourself and the world around you reflected in Glover’s words. Who hasn’t been the victim of an inane joke that the delivered thinks is sooooo original? Or frantically prepared for a visit by a parent or in-law? Every reader will relate to the frantic last-minute dash around the shops at Christmas time looking for ‘just the right thing’ to jump off the shelves at you.

Desperate Husbands is desperately funny and desperately true. An excellent read.

Desperate Husbands, by Richard Glover
Harper Collins, 2005